It’s been five years now since I left that
place. And since I left it, I never dared to look back. I don’t have any
contact with my old high school pals anymore even those I claimed to be my best
friends. Maybe some of them ended up in my Facebook, we don’t chat up or even
talk often. It’s all in the comments and likes now.
Far from the memories I once held so precious
to me. And I think they have forgotten me too. But it’s not like I hate them or
the school. Perhaps it’s that change that comes to people as they grow, like
breaking through puberty. There has been this big change which caused the gap
even more. Change of interest, change of schedule, change of mind and/or a
change of heart.
All I know is that I’ve changed. And I have
refused to acknowledge that past ever since. I question myself about it once in
a while but up to know I don’t have the exact answer to this either: Is it
because I’ve hated my weak self on those days that I turned my back?
Nine years ago, I was a Nobody. But I’ve
met an amazing set of people that I’ve intentionally forgotten except one. I’m
not the friendly type or the charming speaker. I’m not one of those cool kids
or the brainiacs. I belonged to none actually, just my one circle of friends
who were average as me.
High school was a change from my elem days
too. I became an honor student but still that same nobody. I seldom interact
with people. I may count myself annoying too, but I don’t remember who I was in
high school. All I can tell is that there would always be ranks and a hierarchy
in every high school that classifies you and puts you into place.
The cool kids, the smarties, the kikays (pretty girls and wanna-bes), the D-bags (pranskters, gangsters and
the meanest of the bunch), the sportatrons (athletes and varsies), the
bud-butts (kids who are the butt of every joke but are still good pals with the
cool kids, throwing in some wanna-be-cool kids as well) and the passives
(average kids who do not care at all about the other ranks).
Thinking about it, maybe this is why I
hated high school. It wasn’t much fun for me. It was… worthy of being
forgotten. Sure, I had great moments too, but it’s still overruled by the
negative thoughts I had about it. It would’ve been better if my HS friends were
around, but they’re not, making me bitter and more stubborn about the whole
thing.
I live next door to a high school classmate
of mine, but we act like strangers now. Maybe it’s the same for him with me.
And so are the others, the constant hi and hellos but never keeping a steady
contact. Well, it’s fairly easy to forget when it meant nothing, right?
